Friday, March 23, 2012

Stuff

Tried to think of a catchy title but nothing comes to mind.  It is 6:15 a.m. and I have been awake since 4 a.m.  Lots of STUFF on my mind.  A little anxiety about the upcoming trip to Washington/Oregon ~ flying is not my favorite thing to do and I am just thankful that Ron is going with me ~ that will help me for sure.

 I can't wait to see our kids and grandkids and  our Northwood family and as many friends as possible.  We will be reconnecting with friends we have not see since the early 80's, reconnecting with friends we have not seen since 2009 and 2011 and then reconnecting with our family and giving Jamie & Suzanne a big congratulatory hug to celebrate their recent marriage and most of all hugging and playing with the grands!!

And my mind is full of thoughts of where the Lord is leading, asking questions of why and wondering why somethings happen that seem to come out of left field.  Praying for clarity in situations and seeking God's peace in everything we do.

Had a hard few days recently, said some things I regret, used tones & words that were inappropriate, seeking God's forgiveness and being thankful that His mercies are new every morning and knowing that He is faithful and is always with me even when I feel so alone.  And praying for healing in relationships and situations.  Seeking His will not ours.

Finding that I need to get back to writing more regularly and remember the reasons why I write: to get all those mumble/jumble thoughts that run amok in my head out on paper (computer) to where I can find clarity of the issues.  And the need to stop worrying about "what others think" of what I say when I write on my blog with my thoughts.

I need to be more disciplined intentional with my time and my actions.  I need to be intentional with my time and activities and stop letting things just happen.  I chose the word "intentional" for this year and it has slipped away from me.  So starting today I am back on track of being intentional in what I do as well as what I eat.  The last two weeks have found me slipping, nope, falling back into old habits: not caring about what I eat, not exercising daily like I know I should and need to do, being intentional in my quiet time: being specific about reading, praying & writing and not doing things because they are expected of me but because things are important to me, satisfying to me and things I care about.

And I need to remember not to "react with a knee jerk response" but to use my mind and my abilities and to think before I speak.  And remembering to keep my focus on the Lord because when I do that my life just goes more smoothly.

Not sure if this makes sense to anyone else but I know the Lord has brought me back to this place of beginning again, starting over, today is a new day and a new chance to do what is right in my life.  I need to remind myself daily of my life verse: Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding BUT to acknowledge HIM in everything and He will direct my paths.  Prov. 3:5-6