Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Thinkin'

Good morning.  Sorry I have been absent the last few days.  The time change really takes its toll on me.  And I have been struggling with a few things.  I will share more at the end but first, God's word this mornings says to me "don't make all these plans that I am going to do this or that but instead say I will go and do that what is God's will."  So often I get BUSY doing what I want or think I NEED to be doing when actually what I need to be doing is spending time in the word and BEING in and with the Lord

I identify with some of my Bible study girlfriends when they say they read the word and then quickly move on and forget what I have read or even prayed just five minutes ago.  And then when I can't remember I start to beat myself up and asking myself am I really a Christian or am I just putting on a show and then that starts me spiraling down and down into a depression.  Not a good thing at all.  Right now I am just reminding myself daily that I am a daughter of the King and that i love the Lord and that I need to be as gracious with myself as I am with and to others.  Extending mercy to myself as I extend it to others.

I am struggling right now with a couple of things.  I so miss being at our home church.  I feel discomboomerated and disconnected even though we have been going to different churches.  I am tired of being the guest I want to be part of the family.  And I am missing my best friend.  I want to be able to go out and have coffee or lunch and just laugh and talk and just be with her.  I KNOW it takes time to meet new people, to make friends and we are slowly doing that here at the park...but as Ron and I talked Sunday afternoon as we were out for a drive that we need more than just go to work and come back to the motor home...we need to connect with people outside of the work environment.  And I have Skyped with a couple of friends and that helps but I really MISS my best friend.  I know I need to make some friends here.  No one will replace my best friend but I need to make some new friends.

And we did a little of that Monday afternoon when we sat with four other couples for oven an hour chatting about different things.  We laughed and shared stories and that was good.  And then last night we joined a group from here at Lone Star Corral at Pizza Hut for dinner $6 per person for all you can eat & pop.  We visited with two couples for about an hour.  It was fun and I did feel better connected.  I also KNOW I need to be patient with myself.  We haven't even been here a month yet.